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Line King predicts delusional SEC fans will be snapped back to reality

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(RNN) - Another week, another set of disturbing games featuring underachieving teams and delusional fans pining for the glory years. In particular, those boosters of 2-0 Tennessee who have quaffed the orange Kool-Ade and are snapping up large blocks of rooms in Miami, site of the BCS Championship Game. This is counterpointed by the cacophonous raging of my editor Skeeter Brown, who is constantly busting my chops to hurry and get this column out to the faithful followers of The Line King.

We get a few conference games this week, which should bring some fans crashing back to the reality that they are headed to somewhere like Birmingham's Legion Field in January - like Tennessee, for instance - or maybe no place at all - like Mississippi.

And note to ESPN: Please for crying out loud, just scroll CFB scores while you are broadcasting your $EC love fest on Saturdays. The Ling King could care less who won the second round of the Rolex Cup Tennis in Bucharest. And give me all scores, not just the games YOU think are important.

Whatever happened to ABC's College Scoreboard?

All times are Eastern.

Saturday, Sept. 15

ULM (+16.5) @ Auburn 12:21 p.m., $EC Network

My, how the mighty have fallen. At this rate, it'll take Auburn another 30 years and maybe another Macon County video poker casino to climb back to the top, but that is only speculation based on internet rumors.What isn't a rumor is that ULM is well-coached and has a QB half the $EC would kill for. Auburn could very easily start the season 0-3.

Presbyterian @Vanderbilt 12:30 p.m., CSS

I have always thought highly of Vanderbilt. Their fan never pretends their team is anything other than what they are - unlike Mississippi fans. Then VU stoops to Alabama levels by scheduling Presbyterian. I have been to Presbyterian. You can throw a football across its campus. Bad Commodores! You should be ashamed.

Texas A&M (-13.5) @ SMU, 3:30pm, TBD

The first of two games this week that break my heart. I spent the majority of my youth watching SMU football at the old Cotton Bowl - long before they got railroaded by the NCAA Blackshirts. But I really like Kevin Sumlin. I said it before and I will keep saying it, he will have the Aggies contending for the $EC West title in short time. The Ponies got stomped by Baylor in Week 1, so look for a breakout game from the Aggies.

Alabama @ Arkansas (-21.5) 3:30pm, CBS

How can an $EC team be a three-touchdown underdog at home? Here's how: Lose to a Sunbelt team at home (ironically a Sunbelt team that has beat Bama as well). Hog fans will simply implode if this game isn't halfway competitive or they will look to move to the Big 12. Three touchdowns!?!?!?

Florida (+3) @ Tennessee 6 p.m., ESPN

Attention Big Orange: Florida is not Georgia State. The Gators have been tested; the Vols have not. And if Mike Slive had true grit, he would fine Derek Dooley for dressing like a fool on the sidelines. For goodness' sake, Gulf South Conference coaches dress better than Double D.

 UAB @ South Carolina (-33.5) 7 p.m., FSN

Burn me once, shame on you; burn me twice shame on me ... there won't be a third time for The Line King. Carolina still has not played a complete game. I would normally take 33.5, but this is UAB we are talking about - a team that Memphis has circled on their calendar.

Arizona State @ Missouri (-6.5) 7 p.m., ESPN2

What a buzzkill for Mizzou fans. But what a nice surprise too. They held their own versus Georgia, more than most $EC homers thought they would. It'll still take me 20 years to remember Missouri is actually an $EC team, but they could care less. They are already leaps and bounds ahead of Mississippi.

Western Kentucky @ Kentucky (-7) 7 p.m., ESPNU

Did Kentucky actually score 47 points last week? That had to wake a few Cat fans up from their post-March Madness hangover. Can Joker put two wins together? I can't believe I am taking Big Blue and giving points, but stranger things have happened.

Mississippi State (-16.5) @ Troy 7 p.m., ESPN3

How is a team a 16.5 point underdog at home to a second-tier $EC team? Lose at home as a 3-point favorite, like Troy did to Louisiana Lafayette last week. The once proud Troy defense has become the laughingstock of the Sunbelt and that's pretty sad. Troy has a history of winning big games at home, but not this time. The only hope is if the NCAA announces sanctions on Mississippi State prior to kickoff.

Florida Atlantic @ Georgia (-42.5) 7:30 p.m., CSS

Speaking of laughingstocks, Florida Atlantic was a questionable football program at the most, now they are just plain awful. But that's the dilemma with taking the Dawgs - which The Line King will, but Marc Richt will probably find a way to not motivate his team and Sanford Stadium will be half-empty by halftime.

 Idaho @ LSU (-42.5) 8:00 p.m., PPV

Again, why would anyone pay to watch this "game". LSU outscores the Pacific Northwest by over 100 points in two consecutive weeks. Waste of time, money and tailgating.

 Texas (-10.5) @ Mississippi 9:30 p.m., ESPN

The only chance Mississippi has is...who am I kidding, they have no chance. Heck, Mac Brown's Tulane teams beat Mississippi, why wouldn't his Texas teams?

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